I'm a Parent and I'm Happy! I'm starting a new trend...

I found myself shaking my head while reading the following article today:  Parents Who Hate Parenting

Really?  An article saying the latest trend is being a parent and hating it?

All I could think of is all the different types of people in my life...

• My brother has a newborn... and happily gives up a Friday night on the town.  He is the happiest that he's ever been.  
• My sister has older kids and her world revolves around them.  I actually worry about her when they are older and she no longer has them to fill her house and her life on a daily basis.
• I have friends and cousins expecting babies after years of trying... believe me that they are all looking forward to the day they hold their child in their arms.  
• Both my Grandmothers are in their 80's and live alone.  Their world brightens when they get a phone call from one of their children or grandchildren.  I do not want to imagine what their life would be like right now if they never had children.
• I know single mother's who are happy as can be... honestly, I've never heard them complain.  Only gush with pride.
• I also know people who are looking forward to the time in their life when they do have kids.  They wish it was now but are waiting for everything else to fall into place first. 

The following was quoted in the article:

"Parents of young children report far more depression, emotional distress, and other negative emotions than non-parents, and parents of grown children have no better well-being than adults who never had children," 

I challenge the author of this article to interview either of my Grandmother's about their 'well-being' and if it is related to their children... Even Joan Rivers has given up her place in Manhattan to move closer to her daughter and grandson in California because "Family is everything".  

As a parent of young children, I won't lie to you.  My life has changed.  Tommy and I have had far more arguments post children.  I have laid awake at night worrying about money, trying to figure out the best way to allocate our income to pay for everything we want to do... vacations, college, landscaping, etc...  I have been reduced to tears when the kids don't take their usual 2 hour naps, therefore depriving me of my own nap.  I have gagged when cleaning up puke.  I've been embarrassed when one of them throws a fit in the grocery store.  I feel judged by other people when my children don't listen to me.  Of course, I feel tired most of the time.  

BUT... I've never felt un-happy.  

How could I feel unhappy when...

• Abby climbs into bed with me and in the morning she wakes me up by saying "It's a pretty day, Mom".  
• George sees me come into the room and runs as fast as he can with a huge smile and outstretched arms towards me?
• When they were infants sometimes they would cry and cry and all they wanted was for me to hold them.  How is that not the best feeling in the world?
• When I leave for work (walk down the stairs) Abby and George run to the gate at the top of the stairs to give me a kiss and wave bye bye.  Sometimes they cry because they don't want me to leave.  

Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed with parenting, I realize that the feeling is just me missing my old creature comforts.  I miss sleeping in.  I miss watching an entire show on tv which I can actually hear what they are saying.  I miss sitting down for an entire dinner.  I also miss hanging out with my high school friends and playing volleyball.  But, that doesn't make me hate my current life.  It doesn't make me wish I never had children.  Remembering your past, reminiscing about yesterday isn't unusual or bad.  It's life!   

So, to all those parents out there who think they are depressed and 'hate parenting', I say to you...

BUCK UP and GROW UP!  

Stop finding the negative and focus on the positive.  You are probably the same person who would be crying if you couldn't have children. Everyone has issues, worries and stress... with or without kids.   Realize what you have is a wonderful gift and enjoy every second of it!

When I do get time to watch an entire show or sit down for an entire dinner, I actually miss my kids.  I don't feel right without them.  Seriously, ask my husband ;-)

Abby and George,

Mommy and Daddy chose to have you.  

George, we initially thought you were a little early, but now we  know you were right on time. 

With the two of you we have formed an amazing family.

Being a strong family requires hard work and that shouldn't be seen as 'an economical and emotional drain', but a foundation for everything wonderful to come. 

None of us are perfect, but each day we try our best and that is all we ask of you in return. 

Love, 

Mom&Dad

Update on Fat Tuesday

Hi Everyone, 

We haven't forgotten about you.  

We've been enjoying our winter.  Some play dates, sledding, Birthday Parties and trying to stay

indoors as much as possible.  It is still very COLD.  We had a few warm days that melted all the

snow and then a few days later a blizzard came and gave everyone a few more snow days.  We don't mind the snow and cold too much.  In fact, all the snow this year has helped justify our decision to buy a snow blower last year.  Who knew we were SO SMART!!

Here is a picture of George on Valentine's Day.  

This cutie sure won my heart!

Cousin Emily turned 3 on Valentine's Day.  She invited us to a sledding party!  It turned out to be a perfect day for sledding and Abby was thrilled.  She practiced pulling her sled, with all her babies and monkey's, around the house before the party. 

 Abby and Emily were treated like royalty while they were sledding.  There were some older girls there who would sled down the hill with them and then pull them and their sled up the hill again.  The picture below captured one of the only times when they walked up the hill.  (Emily to the left, Abby to the right. )

And since they felt like royalty, they of course put on their princess dresses when we got back to the house for the after-party, 

Cousin Sophie turned 9 on the 19th.  

She turned 2 the day after we were married so it's surreal to realize that she is 9 already!  Here is Abby giving her her birthday gift and a hug.

Just because Sophie is 9, doesn't mean she is too old to be a princess!

Our favorite 2 year olds will both be in PreSchool next year, so the opportunity for play dates is vanishing quickly.  Their future is bright, but we will miss our free time together. 

Here at the Ascencio House we value our free time.  

We think it is important to lounge around and not to always be on the go.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes I need to get out of the house so I won't go crazy, but we feel it's also important to just relax and have fun together doing nothing. 

Somethings I want to remember which aren't captured in pictures...

• Abby can count to 10 and say the entire alphabet.  If you ask her she won't do it, but she never stops talking and eventually she will start counting or singing the 'A, B, C, D' song. 
• Abby has started to sing along with the CD's in the car.  Here favorites are Pink Floyd, Gwen Stefani and the Nursery Rhyme Georgie Porgie. Also known as Daddy's music, Mommy's music and Abby's music. 
• George is getting air when he jumps on the trampoline.  
• We've had to start strapping George in his highchair.  We call it the 5-point harness, because that is what it takes to keep him in place.  He may be little, but he is very strong.
• One of George's favorite places to climb is ON the kitchen table! 
• George will now give kisses almost every time you ask for them.  Usually they are very sweet, but this morning he woke up with a runny nose so I got more than just a kiss today. Yuck!

I hope you are taking the winter to visit family and friends and lounge around the house as much as possible, too.  But, we are also looking forward to warmer weather and sunshine...  Here's hoping they arrive soon!

~The Ascencio's~