Big Girl Bed

It's nice to have something you can ALWAYS depend on...  change.

Time is passing at the same rate as it always has, yet I am still surprised how fast things are changing in our life.  

However, Abby is trying to speed things up for me.  She is already looking forward to her birthday, which isn't for another couple months.  

The last post occurred when Abby was in her toddler bed, but now she is in a big girl bed.  One that I imagine she will be in until she goes to college (sorry honey, you don't have a choice... you ARE going to college).  We planned to only buy furniture for her once, so it better last another 15 years.  Hopefully longer. 

Before...

After...

 

We still have the video monitor in her room, so we can watch her when she is going to bed.  We've witnessed her talking to, kissing and putting lipstick on each one of her dolls and monkey's.  She wants to have more toys in bed with her and she insists they all have their head on the pillow.  I think we should have looked into a king size for her?  

Happy Friday,

The Ascencio's

Unexpected Joy

Before I became a mom, I new that I wanted to take my children to church each Sunday.  

My parents took me each Sunday, and while it wasn't the most fun thing to do, I am glad I did it.  My husband and I were both raised catholic and are raising our children catholic, too.  

I know, I know... the catholic church doesn't have the best reputation lately.  But, hey... just like any successful relationship... when the going gets tough, you don't bail.  And for the record (or for my future self) I don't care if our children choose to not be catholic some day.  I believe, being presented with a set of beliefs when you are growing up teaches you to respect something bigger than yourself and to be humble.  That's a GOOD thing.  And, I hope when they get older they learn about other beliefs and listen to their hearts to figure out if the catholic church is for them or not. That is the definition of being a grown-up isn't it?

OK... back to the present... When Abby was a little baby we would go to church each Sunday.  Then we would find excuses to skip church... So, we didn't go to church for a while.  Then George was born and the H1N1 flu was everywhere...  Bottom line:  I felt justified in my decision to skip church each week.  

But, not anymore...

I'm proud to say, that Abby and I have been going to church on a regular basis for some time now. 

Don't judge me!  

Seriously, some mothers are so wonderful and patient when their small children misbehave, but I'm not one of those mother's.  I become angry when Abby doesn't listen or has a fit.  I know she is a toddler learning everyday and I try to have patience but it is hard.  I expect perfection, because I remember the same being expected from me.  So, before church each Sunday morning, I give her a pep talk on being a good girl and myself a pep talk on remaining calm and to expect the worst.  I also place a tootsie roll on the kitchen table and explain to Abby that she can have it when we get home if she is a good girl during church ;-)  Ohhhhhh the power of chocolate!!!  The tootsie roll is extremely effective!

The first few weeks were rough... leaving church to have a 'talk' once or twice.  One week a random lady told me to "Hang in there", which almost reduced me to tears for some unknown reason.  I almost abandoned the entire effort a few times.  But, we persevered and have settled into a nice routine.  And without a doubt, it has been one my most unexpected joys of watching Abby grow up so far. 

She knows the sign of the cross and when she hears the priest say "In the name of the father, and the..." she stops playing with her toys and crosses herself.  She likes to hold the song book, sometimes upside down, and sing along.  She likes to join hands for the Lords Prayer and get on her tip toes for the last few lines when everyone raises their joined hands.  She LOVES to say 'Peace' and shake everyone's hands.  She folds her hands and walks to the front of the church for communion and only walks into the person in front of her in line a few times... because she is so busy looking around.  And she has taken on her Daddy's tradition of shaking the priests hand after church.  Last week we even went and had a donut after mass.

When we sit down to eat at home, she puts her hands together and says "Pay Mommy, Pay", which of course means: Let's pray Mommy.

It doesn't sound like much, but when I watch her and see it I know I am doing the right thing.  It has been a very fulfilling experience. 

I'm ready to add George into the mix, but I don't think he's ready for it yet.  I know some people let their kids George's age run around church or put them in the daycare, but that's not for us.  No Thank You.  But, don't worry, he'll be ready soon.  Until them I'm enjoying the one on one time with Abby.  

The only downer about all of this is that I always figured families would go to church together.  I didn't grow up near my grandparents or cousins, so my family didn't have the opportunity each week.  But, I guess I always assumed if my extended family lived close we would attend church together and each Sunday would be awesome because of that.  But, I guess that is another thing about growing up that stinks.  Reality.  We live near Grandparents and cousins and we all do our separate thing.  They are no more guilty than we are.  So, consider this an invitation.  St. Patricks, Brighton, 9:30 Sunday morning.  See you there?

Letter from the Editor

Dear AscencioFamilyBlog readers,

I have a confession:  I choose my words carefully when I write this blog.  I'm not going to do that anymore. 

You see, I grew up in a small town where conformity has been trendy for decades, perhaps centuries.  My hometown community, unknowingly, groomed me to be "A Pleaser".  People back home are amazingly nice, loyal and dependable, but I can't help but wonder when they agree with something I say... "Do they really agree with me or are they just saying that?".  You see, I really want to know what you think... my feelings won't be hurt if you don't agree with me.  On the flip side, I want to tell you what I think and I don't want you to have hurt feelings if we disagree.  Here's why...

The reason I started this blog is because I want somewhere to record things happening in our family so I can look back in the future and remember the little things I'd otherwise forget.  However, it occurred to me that someday my children will be able to read these posts and hopefully it will give them a little insight into me; their Mother.

So, starting today, I will begin to publish each post with my uncensored thoughts.  When you read this blog, you will get "DARLENE" 100%.  I can't remember a time (other than when I was a kid) that I intended to hurt anyone's feelings and I don't plan on starting now.  So, if I offend you in some way, please know it's not on purpose and get over it ;-) Don't say I didn't warn you.

If you are wondering why the change... let me explain.

In a nutshell... My mom died when I was a kid.  Turns out I didn't really know her as a person.  I don't want the same thing to happen to me. 

As many of you know, my own mother died of breast cancer when I was 14.  As you might guess, it made quite the impression on my life.  There is no expiration date on grief.  It never really goes away.  It is my cross to bear in this life.  So, there is rarely a day which goes by that I don't think of her in some way.  I expected to be sad she wasn't at my wedding or around to hold her grandchildren, but those are not sad thoughts I have.  I actually imagine her watching over us and therefore she is a part of our life each and every day.  Which is surprisingly comforting.  However, what I do is project her life on mine.  I worry that someday my kids will be without me.  I see a spot on my skin and remember seeing the same spot on her.  Is that a sign that I will get sick too?  Is it just a spot that occurs on people in our gene pool?  Who knows.

As I get older I think of my mom and realize that I didn't get a chance to know her as a person.  I don't know what she dreamed of doing when she grew up.  She was a secretary when I was a kid, surely that is not what she dreamed to do.  I don't know what she looked forward to do when she retired.  Did she want to travel?  Go out to Napa?  Go to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower?  I don't know what type of drink she would order if she went to a bar.  I have no memory of her going out to get a pedicure or manicure.  Did she get her nails done before I was born or did she die without ever experiencing that simple pleasure?  What was her favorite color?  I look at my kids and imagine what they will do when they grow up.  Did she do the same thing when she looked at me as a toddler?

I was in the 6th grade when she was diagnosed with cancer.  9th grade when she died.  It sounds like plenty of time to find out answers to all these questions I have.  But, asking these questions would have admitted that I thought she was going to die.  And when you are a kid, you don't think that.  I never thought that...

So... I try to figure out how my kids can know me.  Me as an individual, not just the person who happens to be their mommy.  I'm hoping that one way is they can read over these posts in the future and get a sense of me and my personality.  I want them to know that my favorite color is purple (a light lavendar). I would order a gin & tonic with a slice of lime because a cosmo goes down too easy and makes me silly.  My favorite food is anything Italian, has been since I can remember.  I look at Abby and think that she will grow up and have a career where she helps people.  She loves to help and does a really good job considering she is only 2.  And George, well I think he will do something in engineering.  He loves to explore his toys and figure out how they work.

I hope that you get to know me, too.  And I also hope that I don't lose readers after you do!  Ha!!  Even though there are very few comments on my posts, the stats tell me that I have a quite a few viewers, so I know you are reading!

Wow... writing that was therapeutic.  But that is all for now.  Thanks for reading.

-Darlene